Episode 78 - The Rebel-Syndrome
Do you hate predictability with a vengeance?
Is your worst nightmare knowing what you're going to do three weeks in advance?
Do you refuse to be pinned down or hemmed in by commitments?
Then you may be suffering from the rebel-syndrome.
In this Episode you'll learn how real autonomy and freedom are found - and no, it definitely doesn't reside in deciding in the moment.
Full Episode Text
Episode 78 - The Rebel-Syndrome: How to reconcile your desire for freedom and variety with scheduling and constraint
Hello smart human!
A fair proportion of smart humans suffer from what I have dubbed the ‘rebel-syndrome’.
What does that look like?
Well, they hate being told what to do.
And I guess so do I.
Freedom, or autonomy is IMHO a universal value amongst fast-brained humans.
But they take their desire for freedom so far, that it ends up hurting them.
They refuse to be pinned down on what they’re doing, and when they’re supposed to be doing it.
They believe a life hemmed in by calendars and goals is not worth living.
And so they keep making decisions in the moment.
Now that may sound rather zen - and it can be.
If you have no obligations, no products you need to ship, no livestock to feed, then it’s probably fine and fun to live and make decisions in the moment.
But I’m guessing that this is not what your life currently looks like.
You probably have people to serve - whether these are mini-humans, clients, colleagues, patients, fans, etc doesn’t matter.
You may even have meetings to go to, and other demands upon your time.
And this may make you even more rebellious - the more you feel your life is controlled by external factors, the stronger your desire for autonomy tends to become.
As a result, you keep putting off tasks, decisions, and making commitments - because you want to feel free and in control.
Now here’s the problem.
Your refusal to be pinned down actually reduces your freedom.
It’s very counterintuitive, I know, but bear with me.
Let’s look at your brain for a second.
It’s pretty bad at making decisions in the moment - it will default always to the easiest most urgent option available.
Which means that if you never make decisions ahead of time on what to do during your day, for example, you will default to the easiest.
Guess what you’ll default to?
Either you’ll be putting out fires (urgent) or you’ll be procrastinating (easy).
It usually ends up being a vicious circle stopping at both stations.
First, you’re busy puting out fires.
Then you feel exhausted.
And so you procrastinate…until…oh damn, there’s more fires to be put out.
And so on and so forth.
At the end of the day, you’re frustrated because you didn’t get any meaningful work done. And stressed because you’re constantly working under pressure.
It’s exhausting and very unfulfilling.
And eventually, your desire for autonomy and freedom ends up making you way less autonomous and free.
Now of course more factors play into procrastination (I have in fact three Episodes on this one topic, you may want to check htem out if you haven’t already).
But the rebel-syndrome is an important component in procrastination for a lot of people, especially (but not exclusively) those with ADHD.
So how do you reconcile the two? Is that even possible?
Yes. It is.
You need to start realising that freedom lies in making decisions.
In constraint.
In proactively saying yes (and no) to things.
And in deciding when and where you’re going to do them.
Remember: not deciding, not planning, not scheduling means that you will make bad decisions in the moment.
Deciding ahead of time is CLAIMING your freedom to decide what you want to do with your time, with your resources, with your precious life.
But your desire for freedom, autonomy, variety is real.
And we need to address that too.
This is not a ‘just put everything you want to do on a list and them schedule them in your calendar’ exercise.
That is probably not going to work, because you will never finish with your ‘want to do list’ in the first place.
So we need a little playfulness and flexibility here.
Beginner’s mind.
A willingness to experiment.
How can you plan the unpredictable?
How can you arrange for excitement?
How can you organise plenty of variety in your life?
I’ll give you an example of how I do this in my day-to-day.
I keep lots of open space in my calendar.
I call this flexitime.
During these timeblocks I get to do whatever feels good in the moment.
Maybe I want to go for a walk.
Maybe I want to continue working on a project.
Maybe I want to work through my inbox.
During flexitime I get to do whatever I want.
And of course, it’s also very useful as buffer time as I tend to always underestimate how long things take.
And I’ve designated days, or longer blocks, for specific things I work on.
Tuesday, for example, is Podcast Day.
And Wednesday and Friday are Coaching Days.
Instead of making me feel constrained, this makes me feel relieved.
I know exactly what I’m meant to be working on on those days, so there’s little room for confusion or overwhelm.
And yet there is still plenty of room for improvisation and variety: no day is ever the same.
The broad scope is clear, and I get to fill in the granular level on the day itself.
Now your life may look very different - you may have a lot more external constraints than I do.
That means you have to be even more decisive about the time blocks you do have control over.
Take a step back.
Think about what you want to achieve over the next month, quarter, year.
What do you need to do on a daily or weekly basis to work towards those results?
What would be the most fun, delightful, exciting way of scheduling that?
Try it. And commit to it.
After a week: evaluate.
Keep what worked, chuck what didn’t.
Make the next week even better.
And so on.
But please, reclaim your freedom and autonomy where it matters: in deciding how you want to live.
Have a wonderful week,
Else a.k.a. Coach Kramer
Do you want to fall back in love with your life and work? I can help. DM me on LinkedIn, or Instagram to learn how you can work with me, or email me via podcast@elsekramer.com.
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